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Oluwasanu's avatar

This is such an introspective essay; I felt like I was right inside your mind. It’s evocative, stirring both thought and feeling, and deeply relatable.

It carries a kind of depth that made me pause and rethink what gamophobia truly means. For me, as someone who is gamophobic, it’s never really been about the fear of marriage. It’s the fear of commitment itself to anything that demands emotional exposure, dependence, and a steady offering of emotional generosity.

I am glad I stumbled upon this. Thank you for penning this piece ☺️

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Demi Oshin's avatar

Ooooo I had no idea there was a term for the fear of long-term commitment! I feel the exact same way, and I am so so glad you could relate to my words!

It's a really hard thing to work on, redefining commitment when previous instances of it have felt unsafe. It's taken a lot of unlearning for me to realise that in the right environment, and with the right tools, commitment can feel safe.

Thank you so much for sharing your comment! And for subscribing too!

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Oluwasanu's avatar

I understand you. Recently started questioning everything about religion and what I know about it and how performative it makes spirituality seem.

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Frances Cruz's avatar

As an ex-Catholic, so much of this resonates. If I may offer an observation: you wrote that you doubt your ability to commit again, “at least, not enough to commit to it the same way that I committed to the faith,” but I’m witnessing a truly fierce commitment to yourself, Demi. There’s so much to untangle, give yourself time <3

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Demi Oshin's avatar

Awww this is true! It's strange cause I almost don't view the way I'm committing to myself in the same vein as committing to the faith. Which is ironic, given how the faith conditions you to give so much of yourself, and essentially dehumanise yourself. I'm hoping I'll figure out where my head is at with things and life in general

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